MY OUT-OF-OFFICE IS CURRENTLY ON HIGH ALERT HOODIE

Yo, listen up. This sweet/sick/dope hoodie is your official signal that I'm off the grid, living my best life, and soaking up some sun (or snow, depending on where I am). Don't even try to slide into my DMs or call me unless it's an emergency of epic proportions. I'm relaxing/recharging/unwinding hard and need some serious me time/alone time/peace.

It's not a metaphor, it's fact. I need my morning dose of caffeine like a person requires oxygen. Truly, the concept of starting my day without it gives me stress. Latte doesn't concern much, as long as that bold flavor touches my taste buds. It's not just a drink, it's power for my being. I am a creature of routine, and that ritual is my coffee.